F O O L P R O O F
P L A N S
F O R
R A I S I N G
N U C L E A R
C H I C K E N S
(As Pets..)
Nuclear chickens are NOT easy to raise
From Devon to Daytona, they happen to be the latest craze
From the bums in slum alleys, to political rallies in Central Park
Everyone, it seems, wants a chicken that glows in the dark..
A nuclear chicken starts off, of course, as a nuclear egg
For that you will need plutonium, it might be a good idea to beg
Some third world mad scientist who wants to settle a score
Or who knows, perhaps Uncle Buddy has some plutonium in his underwear drawer
Once you find the plutonium, you hide it inside a sock
Then you wait till real late at night and sneak into your flock
Look for a hen who has settled comfortably into her nest
Be careful with your arms, she just might protest..
Assure her that the glow is nothing she should worry about
Tell her you will love her even after her feathers have fallen out
Visit her occasionally... whatever itch's, don't scratch
Be ready in three weeks when it's time for the eggs to hatch..
Moving momma chicken at this time might be a good bet
The sight of two headed glowing babies could make her upset
Handle them very carefully, try not to excite
They may look cute and cuddly, but they have one mean bite..
Let them run around inside your house, they get charged up when they play
Five minutes in front of your lamp will give it enough power to run all day
There you have it, my friend, If you follow these rules you should have no regrets
From my foolproof plans for raising nuclear chickens (as pets..)
© 2010
