There isn’t any time limit on grief sweetie. Everyone is different and everyone grieves differently. You do what you can do. It’s only been a year. I have friends who have lost their spouse ten years ago and to some extent still grieve. My mother did when my stepfather passed away. She grieved for ten years, every single day. So sweetie, no time limit here. However, if it prevents you from living, that’s not good. You should seek the help of a grief counselor. You are still in my prayers. May God touch your heart and heal it. Hugs ~ Chee
It was a year ago May 20,2013_His birthday was Aug.8th_He would have turned 50.><_EVERYTHING GOOD~`~I still can't connect my thoughts_can't finish writing his book_can't complete the albums I started for him & David.I put the following in the paper last week_-In Loving Memory_Derek Allen Patton_The Day You Died,My Son_My Heart Was Split In Two_One Half Filled With Grief & Pain_The Other Half Died With You-Our loveMOM & POP
My dear Rachel, my heart goes out to you sweetie. I know this is so very hard for you. Take comfort in knowing that so many people are praying for you asking the Good Lord to ease your pain and sorrow. You have been through so much and my heart aches for you. You will always be in my thoughts, heart, and prayers. Hugs ~ Chee Chee Martin
Dear Sister Rachel that certainly is sad and I pray that each day you will be able to be comforted by OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. I hope you will be able to finish your article for the paper in Memory of Derek. Love and GODS Blessings, Your Sister in CHRIST Anita
It will be a year May 20th that I lost Derek.I don’t believe my pain will ever go away.And when Derek died it just opened up the wounds from when I lost my other son,David.He was beaten & robbed on his way to a young mens bible study.Died a few hours later.In my heart Derek was murdered,it just took him longer to die.Remember he was pulling his daughter in a tag-a-long when a woman shot out of an ally and hit the front of his bike.Thank GOD Zoe just received a few scratches but Derek had a closed head injury.That started his seizures.
Being married over 60 years is definitely an accomplishment Elizabeth. So many beautiful and wonderful memories you must have. 🙂 And yes sweetie, your husband is in Heaven with GOD, JESUS, and the Holy Spirit and many loved ones. One day we will join our extended family in Heaven. I say “extended” family because in Heaven we are all one family. 🙂 Enjoy your children and grandchildren and you have a beautiful day Elizabeth. 🙂 Hugs ~ Chee Chee Martin 🙂
Good memories, yes, they help me over the loss of my beloved husband Bill. I smile when I think that we
were together for over 60 years and yes, we had hundreds of memories to think about… I also am thankful
that I have my children and grandchildren and good friends to be with and I must go on so as to not make
them miserable because of me. Bill is thankfully in Heaven with GOD, JESUS and the Holy Spirit and at
peace… I must also remember that many people do not have that many years together with their
loved one… I was and am blessed… GOD BLESS
Dear Sister Chee Chee Thank you for the lovely words. Yes it is truly a blessing that many are praying for Sister Rachel. Yes I have a message fr4om her, just waiting for me to answer. Blessings, upon you during this time of celebrating OUR SAVIOR’S Birth and throughout the coming year. May Angels watch over you is my prayer. Anita
Sweet Anita, I have Rachel on a prayer list. She has a lot of people praying for her. I know deep within my soul that the Good Lord hears all our prayers ascending to Heaven on her behalf. It’s good to hear that you keep in constant contact with her. She is in my thoughts, heart, and prayers. Hugs ~ Chee Chee Martin
Dear Sister Chee Chee That is truly beautiful what you have written to Sister Rachel and feel every word in my heart for her just like you have written to her. I keep in contact with her nearly everyday. I feel in my heart that she is truly reaching out to take OUR SAVIOR’S hand and walk in the light with HIM. I am like you I will continue to pray for her each day. Yes it truly does take time to heal when we lose loved ones. I thank you for your loving and kind words to her. Love and GODS Blessings, To all of my Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST Anita
I can only imagine the pain you’re going through in the lost of your sons. My heart goes out to you sweetie. I promise you that eventually the pain will start subsiding and eventually it will become an ache. Our children are not suppose to go before us but we’re also not to question God’s reason for taking them. All I can say is that Heaven must’ve been short a couple of angels. Keep it in your mind that you will absolutely see them again. I know this probably doesn’t bring much comfort but I know that the Good Lord is working on you ~ to heal your broken heart. Try to have a good Christmas and speak to your sons. Believe it or not, they are right by your side and see and hear everything you do and say. Hugs ~ Chee Chee Martin
I think it will get better=then-no warning>PAIN hits like lightning;/how can I go on=Inside I feel like exploding/vulcano getting ready to erupt>>Pray=Pray
I will keep you in my prayers sweetie. I know you have a horrific hole in your heart and it can never be filled. But, it can be mended and that is one of the many things I’ll ask the Good Lord to do for you. Hang in there and continue to ask Him to help you and heal you. Hugs ~ Chee Chee Martin
John Hopkins has diagnoised me with ‘extendedgrief’.Most people that suffer from it have lost i or more children.I lost both my sons.It is a grief that never dies.Please keep praying
Oh sweetie, I know you’re having a difficulty time seeing the light at the end of that dark tunnel. But it is there, I promise you. Each person has their own way of grieving and the length of time to get it done. Losing a child would be the most difficult to get over. They’re not suppose to go before us. Maybe you should join a grief group. It’s just a thought and maybe one you should consider. I still have you in my prayers and I hope you get some closure soon. That’s what I’m asking the Lord to do for you ~ mend your heart and give you closure. You are in my thoughts, heart, and prayers. Hugs ~ Chee Chee Martin
If it helps you to revisit this particular video, then do so. I know what you mean about feeling like you’re falling out of control. I’ve been there. But when I asked for God’s help, He was there and He helped me. Don’t let grief control your life sweetie. I’m not saying don’t grieve. That is something you must do. Let it take it’s course but don’t let it take you. You’re searching for answers and closure. Your answers lie within you and closure will come about once you realize this. I don’t know what else to tell you except once I realized this, everything became crystal clear to me. My tears dried up and I was able to move forward. I will keep you in my prayers. Hugs ~ Chee
Chee Chee,I only said I have to keep going back here every few days.I sometimes feel as tho I am falling and spinning,The darkness never leaves me.And I truly loved what you said about the part of us that dies.It made more sense than most things have.Pop has gotten so he doesn’t say anything when I come into this room.I just keep searching for something.I have started writing a story about the life Of Derek,but I can’t write about him unless I include my David.I believe that without my boys life has no meaning.Thank you for dropping by,Rachel
My heart goes out to you sweetie. I read this somewhere shortly after my mother passed away and it opened my eyes ~ “Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greates loss is what dies inside of us while we live.” Our deceased loved ones would want us to continue on, enjoy life, think of them with a smile, and pursue our destiny. In that respect, we are honoring them in a positive way. Time heals all wounds and time will heal yours. May God grant you serenity Rachel. Hugs ~ Chee
I still have to come here on the days that I can’t make sense of anything.This says exactly what I am feeling and thinking.I can cry in here and it’s okay,but it still shows on my face.I thank you from the bottom of my heart,Chee Chee for your talent and then for your concern.God Bless You~Rachel
Also;In memory Of:David Alton Patton_B.Feb.20,1962_D.Dec.11,1994 And
Derek Allen Patton_B.Aug.*,1964_D.May,20,2013
I wrote this shortly after my mother passed away. I do have some idea of what you are going through sweetie. My grief is only a shadow of what you must be having to deal with. It’s hard for me to comprehend the loss of a child, let alone two. As the days turn into years, the tears that resurface will be met with a smile. I know it’s hard to visualize this but it will happen. God has a way of helping us to deal with the pain and loss of a loved one. We have to go through this grieving period in order to go forward in our life. Again, my heart goes out to you and I will include you in my prayers asking the Good Lord to give you comfort in your time of need. Hugs ~ Chee Chee Martin
Chee Chee,this does comfort me,but most of the time I can’t really concentrate.I have made a couple of costly mistakes lately.My husband didn’t stop me because he said he assumed I knew what I was doing.I have agreed to go into a hospital called “Pathways” in a couple days.First I have to see my brother and he may help me=but tonight I realized there was no more Mr.Derek A. Patton,the social worker.I have so many bussiness cards=what will the “troubled teens” do? As I wrote this for some reason my heart almost jumped out of my chest.
Rachel, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Whenever we lose a loved one, there’s a period we all must go through in order to be able to just put one foot in front of the other. I wrote this poem shortly after my mother passed in March of ’07. I was quite devastated for some time. I am grateful that I can now bring forth the memories without crying. The loss of a child ~ especially two ~ is a grief beyond compare. My heart goes out to you sweetie. I pray that the day will come when you can look back on your memories of them and smile. We never really get over the loss. We just continue on and try to live our lives the way they would want us to. May God grant you peace. Hugs ~ Chee Chee Martin
Chee Chee,I know this was written for me even tho you wrote it almost a decade ago.For some reason I keep coming in the office in my home just to see if I’m getting better by looking,listning,and reading this.Now you wouldn’t even recognize this room,nothing is showing except the computor & the printer,everything else is hidden under a stack of whatever.I can’t concentrate anymore=can’t sort things out-can’t even write in cards
anymore.Vern is nervous=worried about me,I’m wondering about me.He asked me tonight:”so what is going to happen if you die?He thinks I should just put most everything that is David & Derek into storage tubs=I can’t do that=they were so important to so many people=the awards=the poetry=the photography=love for their family shows up in poems,in letters etc.He calls me a pack-rat.But if I were not what I am=where would my memories be?
Dear Rachel Dayhuff what has happened to you by losing your sons isn’t because you did something wrong, as this is just part of our lives. I lost my loving husband over 31 years ago, but GOD comforted and answered my prayers that it wasn’t anything I had done, but it was his time to go home to GOD. My heart goes out to you and I will keep you in my prayers. My mind is full of memories too and I am thankful for them, as they are happy memories, which are a great comfort for me. My oldest daughter has drifted away from me, which is truly sad, but I continue to contact to her by email and pray for her everyday. Lean on OUR HEAVELY FATHER, as he is always there for HIS children. Love and GODS Blessings, Anita P.S. Here is my email ID if you would like to correspond with me. lovepooh22anita@yahoo.com I reached out to a young male that lives in Denu, Ghana and Have been able to give him special scriptures to read.
Chee Chee,I have to keep coming back,It’s me in that picture=I can’t get things in order=lost in time=will the pain ever go away=what did I do that was so bad=why did my life have to go this way=both awesome sons are gone now=my head is like a computor=full of memories=so distraught-cannot even speak
Mom (Rachel) this is literally heart stopping!! I’m sick, deep in my soul for the loss you have had to bare, it is so overwhelmingly sad. I want to say that those two Awesome sons of yours and Awesome big brothers of mine, will never be forgotten!! They were two beautiful human beings who thankfully left you with beautiful memories!! We know they are both in the loving arms of our Lord Jesus Christ. I pray everyday, asking God to please grant your heart with peace!! I love you mom!!!!
Rachel my heart goes out to you and I know how you feel too. When we lose loved ones it is a great blessing that GOD is by our side and we are left with beautiful memories.
Chee Chee Those were truly thoughts that happen to so many of us during our lifetime. Remember that OUR HEAVELY FATHER will always be there to help us is really what is important to me.
October 16, 2019 @ 7:22 pm
Oh! Chee Chee, remember me? My son, Derek, died May 20, 2013. I met Anita Pierce & Trenee’. Anita passed away this past spring. Love You
November 21, 2014 @ 11:52 am
I thank GOD for the beautiful memories of my husband Bill and realize that some people do not
have happy memories…
August 17, 2014 @ 3:01 pm
There isn’t any time limit on grief sweetie. Everyone is different and everyone grieves differently. You do what you can do. It’s only been a year. I have friends who have lost their spouse ten years ago and to some extent still grieve. My mother did when my stepfather passed away. She grieved for ten years, every single day. So sweetie, no time limit here. However, if it prevents you from living, that’s not good. You should seek the help of a grief counselor. You are still in my prayers. May God touch your heart and heal it. Hugs ~ Chee
August 17, 2014 @ 12:18 pm
It was a year ago May 20,2013_His birthday was Aug.8th_He would have turned 50.><_EVERYTHING GOOD~`~I still can't connect my thoughts_can't finish writing his book_can't complete the albums I started for him & David.I put the following in the paper last week_-In Loving Memory_Derek Allen Patton_The Day You Died,My Son_My Heart Was Split In Two_One Half Filled With Grief & Pain_The Other Half Died With You-Our loveMOM & POP
May 28, 2014 @ 3:08 pm
Thank you Chee Chee.
May 5, 2014 @ 2:45 pm
My dear Rachel, my heart goes out to you sweetie. I know this is so very hard for you. Take comfort in knowing that so many people are praying for you asking the Good Lord to ease your pain and sorrow. You have been through so much and my heart aches for you. You will always be in my thoughts, heart, and prayers. Hugs ~ Chee Chee Martin
May 5, 2014 @ 9:53 am
Dear Sister Rachel that certainly is sad and I pray that each day you will be able to be comforted by OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. I hope you will be able to finish your article for the paper in Memory of Derek. Love and GODS Blessings, Your Sister in CHRIST Anita
May 4, 2014 @ 6:00 pm
It will be a year May 20th that I lost Derek.I don’t believe my pain will ever go away.And when Derek died it just opened up the wounds from when I lost my other son,David.He was beaten & robbed on his way to a young mens bible study.Died a few hours later.In my heart Derek was murdered,it just took him longer to die.Remember he was pulling his daughter in a tag-a-long when a woman shot out of an ally and hit the front of his bike.Thank GOD Zoe just received a few scratches but Derek had a closed head injury.That started his seizures.
March 29, 2014 @ 2:50 pm
Being married over 60 years is definitely an accomplishment Elizabeth. So many beautiful and wonderful memories you must have. 🙂 And yes sweetie, your husband is in Heaven with GOD, JESUS, and the Holy Spirit and many loved ones. One day we will join our extended family in Heaven. I say “extended” family because in Heaven we are all one family. 🙂 Enjoy your children and grandchildren and you have a beautiful day Elizabeth. 🙂 Hugs ~ Chee Chee Martin 🙂
March 29, 2014 @ 1:16 pm
Good memories, yes, they help me over the loss of my beloved husband Bill. I smile when I think that we
were together for over 60 years and yes, we had hundreds of memories to think about… I also am thankful
that I have my children and grandchildren and good friends to be with and I must go on so as to not make
them miserable because of me. Bill is thankfully in Heaven with GOD, JESUS and the Holy Spirit and at
peace… I must also remember that many people do not have that many years together with their
loved one… I was and am blessed… GOD BLESS
March 1, 2014 @ 6:54 pm
Thank you again,Chee Chee
December 22, 2013 @ 2:48 pm
Dear Sister Chee Chee Thank you for the lovely words. Yes it is truly a blessing that many are praying for Sister Rachel. Yes I have a message fr4om her, just waiting for me to answer. Blessings, upon you during this time of celebrating OUR SAVIOR’S Birth and throughout the coming year. May Angels watch over you is my prayer. Anita
December 22, 2013 @ 12:31 pm
Sweet Anita, I have Rachel on a prayer list. She has a lot of people praying for her. I know deep within my soul that the Good Lord hears all our prayers ascending to Heaven on her behalf. It’s good to hear that you keep in constant contact with her. She is in my thoughts, heart, and prayers. Hugs ~ Chee Chee Martin
December 22, 2013 @ 11:37 am
Dear Sister Chee Chee That is truly beautiful what you have written to Sister Rachel and feel every word in my heart for her just like you have written to her. I keep in contact with her nearly everyday. I feel in my heart that she is truly reaching out to take OUR SAVIOR’S hand and walk in the light with HIM. I am like you I will continue to pray for her each day. Yes it truly does take time to heal when we lose loved ones. I thank you for your loving and kind words to her. Love and GODS Blessings, To all of my Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST Anita
December 22, 2013 @ 10:07 am
I can only imagine the pain you’re going through in the lost of your sons. My heart goes out to you sweetie. I promise you that eventually the pain will start subsiding and eventually it will become an ache. Our children are not suppose to go before us but we’re also not to question God’s reason for taking them. All I can say is that Heaven must’ve been short a couple of angels. Keep it in your mind that you will absolutely see them again. I know this probably doesn’t bring much comfort but I know that the Good Lord is working on you ~ to heal your broken heart. Try to have a good Christmas and speak to your sons. Believe it or not, they are right by your side and see and hear everything you do and say. Hugs ~ Chee Chee Martin
December 21, 2013 @ 6:10 pm
I think it will get better=then-no warning>PAIN hits like lightning;/how can I go on=Inside I feel like exploding/vulcano getting ready to erupt>>Pray=Pray
December 14, 2013 @ 6:28 pm
I will keep you in my prayers sweetie. I know you have a horrific hole in your heart and it can never be filled. But, it can be mended and that is one of the many things I’ll ask the Good Lord to do for you. Hang in there and continue to ask Him to help you and heal you. Hugs ~ Chee Chee Martin
December 14, 2013 @ 3:35 pm
John Hopkins has diagnoised me with ‘extendedgrief’.Most people that suffer from it have lost i or more children.I lost both my sons.It is a grief that never dies.Please keep praying
December 13, 2013 @ 5:41 pm
Oh sweetie, I know you’re having a difficulty time seeing the light at the end of that dark tunnel. But it is there, I promise you. Each person has their own way of grieving and the length of time to get it done. Losing a child would be the most difficult to get over. They’re not suppose to go before us. Maybe you should join a grief group. It’s just a thought and maybe one you should consider. I still have you in my prayers and I hope you get some closure soon. That’s what I’m asking the Lord to do for you ~ mend your heart and give you closure. You are in my thoughts, heart, and prayers. Hugs ~ Chee Chee Martin
December 13, 2013 @ 4:58 pm
I’m still here,it only gets worse
October 28, 2013 @ 11:33 am
If it helps you to revisit this particular video, then do so. I know what you mean about feeling like you’re falling out of control. I’ve been there. But when I asked for God’s help, He was there and He helped me. Don’t let grief control your life sweetie. I’m not saying don’t grieve. That is something you must do. Let it take it’s course but don’t let it take you. You’re searching for answers and closure. Your answers lie within you and closure will come about once you realize this. I don’t know what else to tell you except once I realized this, everything became crystal clear to me. My tears dried up and I was able to move forward. I will keep you in my prayers. Hugs ~ Chee
October 27, 2013 @ 10:35 pm
Chee Chee,I only said I have to keep going back here every few days.I sometimes feel as tho I am falling and spinning,The darkness never leaves me.And I truly loved what you said about the part of us that dies.It made more sense than most things have.Pop has gotten so he doesn’t say anything when I come into this room.I just keep searching for something.I have started writing a story about the life Of Derek,but I can’t write about him unless I include my David.I believe that without my boys life has no meaning.Thank you for dropping by,Rachel
October 27, 2013 @ 3:58 pm
I never got a reply sweetie. Hugs ~ Chee
October 27, 2013 @ 2:15 pm
I hope you got the reply I sent you~Rachel
October 26, 2013 @ 5:24 pm
My heart goes out to you sweetie. I read this somewhere shortly after my mother passed away and it opened my eyes ~ “Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greates loss is what dies inside of us while we live.” Our deceased loved ones would want us to continue on, enjoy life, think of them with a smile, and pursue our destiny. In that respect, we are honoring them in a positive way. Time heals all wounds and time will heal yours. May God grant you serenity Rachel. Hugs ~ Chee
October 26, 2013 @ 5:09 pm
I still have to come here on the days that I can’t make sense of anything.This says exactly what I am feeling and thinking.I can cry in here and it’s okay,but it still shows on my face.I thank you from the bottom of my heart,Chee Chee for your talent and then for your concern.God Bless You~Rachel
Also;In memory Of:David Alton Patton_B.Feb.20,1962_D.Dec.11,1994 And
Derek Allen Patton_B.Aug.*,1964_D.May,20,2013
October 17, 2013 @ 7:55 am
I wrote this shortly after my mother passed away. I do have some idea of what you are going through sweetie. My grief is only a shadow of what you must be having to deal with. It’s hard for me to comprehend the loss of a child, let alone two. As the days turn into years, the tears that resurface will be met with a smile. I know it’s hard to visualize this but it will happen. God has a way of helping us to deal with the pain and loss of a loved one. We have to go through this grieving period in order to go forward in our life. Again, my heart goes out to you and I will include you in my prayers asking the Good Lord to give you comfort in your time of need. Hugs ~ Chee Chee Martin
October 16, 2013 @ 10:02 pm
Chee Chee,this does comfort me,but most of the time I can’t really concentrate.I have made a couple of costly mistakes lately.My husband didn’t stop me because he said he assumed I knew what I was doing.I have agreed to go into a hospital called “Pathways” in a couple days.First I have to see my brother and he may help me=but tonight I realized there was no more Mr.Derek A. Patton,the social worker.I have so many bussiness cards=what will the “troubled teens” do? As I wrote this for some reason my heart almost jumped out of my chest.
October 16, 2013 @ 7:53 pm
Rachel, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Whenever we lose a loved one, there’s a period we all must go through in order to be able to just put one foot in front of the other. I wrote this poem shortly after my mother passed in March of ’07. I was quite devastated for some time. I am grateful that I can now bring forth the memories without crying. The loss of a child ~ especially two ~ is a grief beyond compare. My heart goes out to you sweetie. I pray that the day will come when you can look back on your memories of them and smile. We never really get over the loss. We just continue on and try to live our lives the way they would want us to. May God grant you peace. Hugs ~ Chee Chee Martin
October 15, 2013 @ 12:05 pm
Rachel I still have you in my prayers. Lean on your JESUS CHRIST OUR SAVIOR and you will be able to be comforted and move forward. How well I know.
October 15, 2013 @ 12:59 am
Thes is me
October 10, 2013 @ 1:26 am
Chee Chee,I know this was written for me even tho you wrote it almost a decade ago.For some reason I keep coming in the office in my home just to see if I’m getting better by looking,listning,and reading this.Now you wouldn’t even recognize this room,nothing is showing except the computor & the printer,everything else is hidden under a stack of whatever.I can’t concentrate anymore=can’t sort things out-can’t even write in cards
anymore.Vern is nervous=worried about me,I’m wondering about me.He asked me tonight:”so what is going to happen if you die?He thinks I should just put most everything that is David & Derek into storage tubs=I can’t do that=they were so important to so many people=the awards=the poetry=the photography=love for their family shows up in poems,in letters etc.He calls me a pack-rat.But if I were not what I am=where would my memories be?
October 5, 2013 @ 8:34 pm
Dear Rachel Dayhuff what has happened to you by losing your sons isn’t because you did something wrong, as this is just part of our lives. I lost my loving husband over 31 years ago, but GOD comforted and answered my prayers that it wasn’t anything I had done, but it was his time to go home to GOD. My heart goes out to you and I will keep you in my prayers. My mind is full of memories too and I am thankful for them, as they are happy memories, which are a great comfort for me. My oldest daughter has drifted away from me, which is truly sad, but I continue to contact to her by email and pray for her everyday. Lean on OUR HEAVELY FATHER, as he is always there for HIS children. Love and GODS Blessings, Anita P.S. Here is my email ID if you would like to correspond with me. lovepooh22anita@yahoo.com I reached out to a young male that lives in Denu, Ghana and Have been able to give him special scriptures to read.
October 5, 2013 @ 5:15 pm
Chee Chee,I have to keep coming back,It’s me in that picture=I can’t get things in order=lost in time=will the pain ever go away=what did I do that was so bad=why did my life have to go this way=both awesome sons are gone now=my head is like a computor=full of memories=so distraught-cannot even speak
September 8, 2013 @ 7:38 pm
Mom (Rachel) this is literally heart stopping!! I’m sick, deep in my soul for the loss you have had to bare, it is so overwhelmingly sad. I want to say that those two Awesome sons of yours and Awesome big brothers of mine, will never be forgotten!! They were two beautiful human beings who thankfully left you with beautiful memories!! We know they are both in the loving arms of our Lord Jesus Christ. I pray everyday, asking God to please grant your heart with peace!! I love you mom!!!!
September 8, 2013 @ 12:24 pm
Rachel my heart goes out to you and I know how you feel too. When we lose loved ones it is a great blessing that GOD is by our side and we are left with beautiful memories.
September 8, 2013 @ 12:15 pm
This is exactly how I feel.Both my “awesome sons” are gone now.Nothing in this life means more to me than them and their memories that I hold
June 28, 2013 @ 10:43 am
Chee Chee Those were truly thoughts that happen to so many of us during our lifetime. Remember that OUR HEAVELY FATHER will always be there to help us is really what is important to me.
June 28, 2013 @ 10:28 am
it doesn’t get any sadder then this….